Shanghai, I love you.


Because I love who I am when I am here...

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Boxes

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Human brain likes to be ‘aware’. It wants to be able to say ‘Yeah, I know this. I have seen this before.’ Hence, when it perceives something new, it immediately wants to label it based on something it has previously experienced. It wants to know where to ‘file’ this new information - wanting to classify into different boxes which can be pulled from the attic when needed. Now, when the brain doesn’t know what to do with a piece of new information it either files it under the already existing boxes in it or tries to create a new box. I think as we grow up, our ability to create these new boxes keeps diminishing. As new- borns, when we open our eyes, everything is classified under ‘new’ or ‘weird’ or ‘ what the fuck was that?’, and then gradually we start creating more boxes: ‘food’, ‘mommy’, ‘safe’, ‘scary’… As we grow up we keep creating more and more boxes by labeling information we process. We develop boxes of ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’, ‘stuff I know for sure’, and then slowl
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The Pain of Not Being Seen

Part of a series where I am publishing all the draft that have lived in my compose page for several years, it is time they saw light of day. June 2016 Yesterday, as one of my friends was packing her bags to go back home to Stockholm, our conversation turned towards the question: Do looks matter? From there it took a turn about the pain of not being seen. The only real acceptance I have got in terms of my size has been outside my own country. The lack of care and 'looks' from the Chinese made me more comfortable in  my skin. US is where I actually received, the full be more confident, be more happy about yourself vibe. Even though the feminist in me, firmly wants to believe that they do not, the reality keeps coming back to bite me. I am writing this, not as a means to complain, but to acknowledge the pain of not being visible . How all of us ignore/bully those who are not appealing to our senses... In my original draft I had written this:  Here is to those 'fr
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What do we want from relationships? (Movie review - Her)

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