Letter to the 'Token' Girl

Dear so-called 'token' girl,

 When you look around and you find you are the only girl in the room where important discussion are being held and decisions are being made, I want you to remember these seven things:

First: Congratulations for making it there! You know it better than anyone else that it has not been easy.

Second: Do not let anyone undermine your presence, your effort and your success. More importantly… do not undermine your own presence, your own effort and your own success. Some of those who have always been in that room, will feed on the slightest of your self-doubt and use it to tell you why either you do not deserve to be here, or you are here because you were lucky, or worse, you are here because someone in the room was too kind.

Third: I hate to say it because it is a massive responsibility but you do represent the rest of us who could not join you there. Hence, I implore you to stand your ground, let your voice be heard and do not be afraid of being seen. Although, I hope this added responsibility makes the fight worthwhile. Your winning the battles is important for all of us to win the war.

Fourth: You might be compelled to adopt all the methods of those who have always been in the room. However, remember your strengths are coveted and will bring the change you want to see. Leverage your capacity for compassion and empathy – these help solve far more problems than you are made to believe.

Fifth: You might hear the B-word(s)… (bossy, b*tch) often; most frequently used by those clouds who cannot deal with your sunshine. So shine like the sun. Bright, warm, and persistent. Clouds forget that they are temporary but the sun.. it has been here for millions of years.

Sixth, if you feel overwhelmed, feel free to express it. Crying aloud, crying alone, crying frequently will help you process these emotions (Girlfriends and wine may help too). Resilience is not in being unbreakable, but in being able to rise up, every time you fall. Expressing emotions is not a weakness; in due time you will realize that this is, in fact, a super power. Your vulnerability will encourage others around you to be vulnerable. Your authenticity will encourage others around you to be authentic. In the future, this is probably one of the only areas that machines will not be able to takeover from humans.

Seventh, thank you - from the rest of us who are not there with you. You are our trailblazer, our harbinger of change, our beacon of hope. If it was not for you, we would think that the room will forever be locked for us.

Best,
 All of us