I want to be a daughter.
A few weeks ago, a conversation led me to rant about this on facebook:
Them: Is she your sister?
Me: Yes.
Them: Who else is there?
Me: (It is none of your business but I will be nice..) We are three sisters.
Them: Ooh! So you don't have a brother?
Me: No (asshole I just fucking told you we are three sisters, what part of it doesn't confirm that I don't have a brother. And cut that shitty sympathetic look from your face before I punch it to adjust its fucking nosiness level).
#RantAlert
Honestly if one more, one more person shows me that look I am going to flatten their nose. They can live like Voldemort for the rest of their shitty lives.
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My friends asked me to ignore the comments that 'didn't matter' and few family members reminded that I do have cousin brothers - as if the latter are some sort of consolation prizes?
You know what? The problem is not that they ask, that's still ok. The problem is the judgement/sympathy/condescension that follows. People act like: oh that's not normal compared to my very normal life. Oh wait I forgot, that I have these X things in my life that I dont want to discuss as well.
X= Husband that beats, lack of job/money, lack of freedom, daughter in law that insults, mother in law that hates, cheat father, alcoholism, smoking, family that doesnt believe in me, fiance that flees, jobless kids, no future security, inability to have kids, too many kids and what have you.
Nobody's fucking 'normal'. WTF is normal? Stop acting like you know it.
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If it isn't the judgement/pity, it is the consolation that I am so sick of.
"So what if there are only daughters, these days daughters are better than sons."
"My daughter is my son."
As I ranted about the conversation, I realized that it is because of this consolation that for the longest time I wanted to be a son. But in fact, I do not want to be a son - let alone being 'better' than a son (whatever that means). I want to be a daughter and I want that to be enough. Enough for my family, for the society and for me.
I read somewhere that in this race to be 'everything' or to be sons, we are forgetting that, women were not created to compete with or try to outrun the man (only) - but to actually do things that men can't do.
I hope to remind myself of this.
Them: Is she your sister?
Me: Yes.
Them: Who else is there?
Me: (It is none of your business but I will be nice..) We are three sisters.
Them: Ooh! So you don't have a brother?
Me: No (asshole I just fucking told you we are three sisters, what part of it doesn't confirm that I don't have a brother. And cut that shitty sympathetic look from your face before I punch it to adjust its fucking nosiness level).
#RantAlert
Honestly if one more, one more person shows me that look I am going to flatten their nose. They can live like Voldemort for the rest of their shitty lives.
------------------
My friends asked me to ignore the comments that 'didn't matter' and few family members reminded that I do have cousin brothers - as if the latter are some sort of consolation prizes?
You know what? The problem is not that they ask, that's still ok. The problem is the judgement/sympathy/condescension that follows. People act like: oh that's not normal compared to my very normal life. Oh wait I forgot, that I have these X things in my life that I dont want to discuss as well.
X= Husband that beats, lack of job/money, lack of freedom, daughter in law that insults, mother in law that hates, cheat father, alcoholism, smoking, family that doesnt believe in me, fiance that flees, jobless kids, no future security, inability to have kids, too many kids and what have you.
Nobody's fucking 'normal'. WTF is normal? Stop acting like you know it.
------------------
If it isn't the judgement/pity, it is the consolation that I am so sick of.
"So what if there are only daughters, these days daughters are better than sons."
"My daughter is my son."
As I ranted about the conversation, I realized that it is because of this consolation that for the longest time I wanted to be a son. But in fact, I do not want to be a son - let alone being 'better' than a son (whatever that means). I want to be a daughter and I want that to be enough. Enough for my family, for the society and for me.
I read somewhere that in this race to be 'everything' or to be sons, we are forgetting that, women were not created to compete with or try to outrun the man (only) - but to actually do things that men can't do.
I hope to remind myself of this.
We are daughters. No comparision to anyone required.
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