Corporate lingo, decoded.


  1. "I hear you." - "Shut up!" 
  2. "I hear you loud and clear." - "Shut the fuck up!" 
  3. "We will assess staffing." - "I don't know who the fuck will do this shit." 
  4. "WE should make the following changes..." - "I just said WE but I don't want to hurt your feelings. YOU should make the following changes."
  5. "You lack thought leadership" - you are just as dumb as I am. 
  6. "Think out of the box" - This is exactly the shit I had come up with. Give me something new."
  7. "You should know how to manage your time"- I need this work completed by today at any cost
  8. "The client liked the creative but they'd like to explore a few more options" - "The client liked the creative but they can't believe that you managed to crack it in your first attempt so they'd like 10 more options only to select this one because that would make them feel like they got their money's worth." 
  9. "Put some fun/sex in it" - "We've no clue what we want." 
  10. "Could you make the logo bigger?" - "Do it but both you and I know I'm going to ask you to revert it to is original size." 
  11. "Guys, this new job's on fire" - "We were sitting on the job for a month and only remembered it now. Please do it asap because our ass is on the line." 
  12.  Overall looks good but:) 
  13.  "I am going to be frank with you..." - Here's the shit you need to listen to, I am not sorry if it hurts. 
  14.  "Just writing in to follow up" - "Learn to reply, asshole." 
  15.  "Thats a good start..." - I can't believe this is the only progress you have made so far. Do you even remember what all I wanted?
  16.  "Here's my two cents. .." - Get ready for verbal diarrhea. 
  17.  "I am sorry to interrupt here..." - Couldn't wait for you to shut up. Also I am not sorry. 
  18.  "Do you Really think its a good idea...???" - Reconsider what you just said idiot. 
  19.  "Do you have 2 mins?" - What I am going to say might as well take your entire day 
  20. "How long are you here?" - How can you leave before I do ?
  21.  "Let's catch up" - Aao time kharab karein; (Come, let's waste time.)

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